


I.L.Y

by Felixsbinnie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-05-15 23:44:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19306273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felixsbinnie/pseuds/Felixsbinnie
Summary: We really never know what happens behind the lights and camera when it comes to our idols. The love story of Changlix, inspired by true events and based on pure imagination ofc.follow my twt: day6sbitch to know when I post new chapters <3





	1. Bye mom and dad

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so be nice, my English might not be 100% correct.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It starts kinda slow, but it starts getting spicey after a while

“So, mom, dad… I’ve decided that I don’t want to be a lawyer… what I really want is to be an idol…” Felix was practicing what he was going to say to his parents when he has the guts to tell his parents that he doesn’t want to follow the same path as his parents and do music instead. “Mom, dad, you know that I really like dancing, singing and rapping right… well, I want to pursue that as a career instead of a hobby” That sounded better Felix though.  
After 20 minutes in his room finding a way to tell them about his passion, he straightens up and goes to the kitchen where her mom was setting the table and his father making the food. He was sensing some kind of tension in the kitchen… maybe his parents had been fighting again… wow, shocker… But that was not going to stop him from telling them about wanting to go to Korea and become a k-pop idol.  
\- What’s up Felix? You seem stressed, are you ok?  
Ok, here it comes Felix, just say it  
\- I’m gay  
Wait, what? wrong confession, shit.  
\- Felix… that does not come as a shocker… What is it?  
Her mom knows him too much, he knows that she’s expecting something worse  
\- I wanna become a k-pop star… I just applied to some companies in Korea and they seem to like me  
well that wasn’t that bad now was it?  
\- excuse me, what?  
his dad said  
\- Yes, dad… you know how I’ve always liked to dance, rap and sing, you know I listen to k-pop.  
\- Hahahahah, and why not a lawyer? It’s a stable job and your grandfather has a lot of contacts in that area which could help you gain a lot of money, honey, please think this through, being a k-pop idol… really? Do you want to be the joke of the family? having: ex-trainee in SM is not a good look in a CV nor in family meetings. Plus, are you really going to just go to go to Korea, when you know zero Korean all on your own? Felix you’re 17  
\- I’ll learn Korean during my trainee time so that when I debut I’ll be fluent, mom please have some faith in me. I don’t want to be a lawyer, I won’t be happy being a lawyer  
\- But you have a secure and regular job, this is why we moved to Australia, so you’d go to a prestigious law university and live a good life  
It looked like his parents were not going to even consider supporting him, so he went to his room quickly to see if any of the companies had accepted him and he saw that two companies were interested in him, one of them being the one and only JYP. They wanted Felix to come to Korea as soon as possible, this meant that he had to drop school if he didn’t want to pay the extra money, this made him a bit hesitant, but at the end, he was so sure he was going to debut, he knew he had what it took to become a successful idol, he could feel it in his bones.  
\- Mom, dad, about being an idol..  
\- Felix, we’ve been through this, you’re not becoming an idol  
\- Well, I’ve been accepted in JYP, which is the company where 2PM and Wonder Girls are from.  
\- Well that’s great, so are you going to just leave without our consent? do you have the money to go to Korea?  
\- JYP will pay it, they are that interested in me  
\- Well good luck, whatever Felix, call me when you need me to buy your ticket back home.  
\- I’ll be leaving in a week, at least that’s what I told them, I’ll call you when I’m on tour and will stop by Sydney.  
And so, Felix packed his stuff while his parents gave him the silent treatment and flew to Seul.


	2. Survival show next ->

Koreans are not the best at English, and that made Felix struggle a lot until the one and only JYP himself greeted him suddently, he showed him around and talked a bit about the life of trainees he also told him that, if he didn’t become fluent in Korean, he won’t be debuting anytime soon. That made Felix a bit anxious, he wanted of course to debut as soon as possible so right after moving his stuff in his dorm, he went out and looked for as many books to learn Korean as possible and applied to courses on the internet in hopes to learn Korean as fast as possible. The day after, Felix met a fellow Australian boy called Bang Chan, he had been a trainee for many years, they clicked immediately. Chan decided to help Felix both to develop his dancing, singing and rapping, skills and his Korean and about the Korean culture. After many months of being really good friends, Chan came with a suggestion to Felix. - So, you know that JYP collects different trainees when he feels like they’re ready to debut and put them into groups right? - Yeah - Well, I talked to JYP and suggested that I could debut with eight other guys - Oh, that’s great, and he said yes? - Yeah, you’re one of the eight- - WAIT ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM GOING TO DEBUT WITH YOU?! TOGETHER? IN A GROUP?! - yeah, let me finish he said, Chan tried to stay calm for some reason, maybe because he didn’t want to jinx it by being too excited - we’re going to be on a showcase that'll air on tv, I don’t know much about the showcase and how it works yet, but, yeah. Felix’s smile got even bigger and Chan couldn’t help to smile and get butterflies on his stomach, Felix’s reaction was just so heartwarming - Oh my God, and when will it start? The showcase I mean - Well, JYP said that it’ll take like a week for them to prepare everything for the showcase, but until then, you gotta train as much as possible, after all, he’s the judge, and if he sees that you’re not good enough at something to debut, he’ll kick you out of the group. - Shizzle, ok, what about my Korean? - Well, you’ve become really good at dancing, and although you can always get better, sign yourself off of the dancing course and concentrate on your Korean, especially on your pronunciation. - Will do. When will I meet the rest of the members? - Well, you know Lee Minho and Hyungjin? - Yeah, they’re on my dancing course, I’ve talked to them, they’re very nice. - Seungmin, Woojin, and Jeongin? - I think they are on more advanced singing lessons but I’ve heard of him - Well, they also will be on the group, also the rest of 3RACHA - hey! So I’ll finally get to meet Changbin and Jisung! - Yep, not only that, but you’ll debut with them, hopefully! - Gosh, this is huge, I can’t wait. - I know! - You’re not allowed to tell anyone though… It’s a secret until the showcase starts. - Got it After this conversation, Felix was ready, he was ready to debut, he went to the administration and asked if they could reduce his dancing lessons. He was so happy, he jumped on his way everywhere and when people asked, he just said that he was training his cardio… which was a very bad excuse but he just couldn’t come up with something else. The week went by so incredibly slow. He was so excited. “I’m going to miss this though,” he thought to himself “I should cherish this last week”. He didn’t have much time to cherish it though, every time he had a break, he went straight to his dorn to study Korean, watched many shows and dramas to practice on his pronunciation… sadly, it just never felt natural to talk like the people on the dramas, he was definitely not confident enough about his Korean to try to talk like that, every time he repeated what a character said on a show, he got frustrated, for him talking that fast was just like a tongue twister… He was scared… what if he gets kicked out because of his pronunciation? The day before the showcase 3RACHA made the group chat for the group, the name of the group chat was called “Stray Kids”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be mentioning much from the survival show, what happens in these chapters is "behind the scenes" of the Changlix we know from what we see publicly. Enjoy


	3. Chapter 3

The first day of the showcase came and Felix was incredibly nervous, he barely slept that night, he was so excited to meet his members. He went to the meeting point, it was the studio that they were assigned to use from now on, it was reserved for the showcase, for Stray Kids.   
When everyone came, they all said hello and started preparing themselves by stretching  
Everyone was preparing, while Felix was just sitting down. The person next to him was Changbin  
\- Hey man, how are you doing? - said Changbin in English  
“Why is he talking in English, does he know English?” Felix thought to himself  
After some attempts to talk in English, he had to give up and start talking in Korean. Felix started feeling some butterflies on his stomach… He looked so cool, sounded so cool, everything about him was so intriguing, so inviting. Felix was hooked by Changbin’s charms. Now, Felix did not know whether Changbin was gay or straight, he didn’t know whether he should make a move or not… “maybe it’s for the best to stay friends, I won't do anything, we’re going to be debuting together, what if we broke up? it’d be awkward…”.  
Changbin during the survival show was very friendly with Felix, and as a clingy friend that Felix is, he started to be more comfortable around him which meant to be affectionate and kind of flirtatious with him, Felix was a very affectionate person, he liked to give hugs, to share his stuff and sometimes make things awkward for the other person by flirting, staring, smiling at them… Changbin was the opposite though, he did not like to be too affectionate, but Felix didn’t care, he knew that Changbin didn’t mind, he knew he lowkey liked it.   
You could say that Changbin and Felix clicked right away. They spent many nights talking about their life, about how they got in JYP, about their past and what they want to accomplish in the future… the topic of sexuality came up, Felix got a bit nervous, but he’s proud to be gay so he just went for it.  
\- So you’re attracted to men instead of women no? - Changbin asked  
\- Yeah, I never really had any romantic interest in women, and to be honest, I didn’t have to come out to my parents, they knew instantly that I wasn’t straight.  
\- And they support you?  
\- Yeah, they don’t really mind, they said that as long as I’m happy, then they’re happy.   
\- Wow, must be nice…   
Changbin changed inmediately his face expression  
\- What do you mean?  
\- To have supportive parents like that  
\- Yeah….?  
\- I wish my parents were that supportive  
\- wait so you’re gay as well?  
\- Yeah I’m gay, but my parents aren’t as supportive… couldn’t you tell?   
\- Nope  
Suddenly Felix automatically smiled but tried to hide it, Changbin saw and also smiled at him  
\- It’s ok, they’re not here, so I’m fine, just don’t tell the rest of the members, I wanna tell them when the time is right  
The conversation continued with Changbin talking about how he still struggles with accepting himself and his sexuality, that was why he’s so cold towards other people, especially men, because he doesn’t want to seem to “gay” as his friends had told him previously.   
-So, you’re basically more affectionate in other ways than physical. said Felix   
\- Exactly, only, when I’m with you, I feel like I can be myself and dare to be affectionate also in a physical way, I’m not sure why though  
\- Maybe you have a crush on me...?   
Felix smirked and Changbin smiled and blushed like a little girl  
\- What?! You wish, hahaha, nah... you’re being delusional  
\- Look, it’s totally understandable, many men are out there on the doorstep of my parents house asking for my hand INCLUDING MINHO  
\- Hahaha, don’t make me laugh! Also, Minho is taken! I’m going to bed Felix, good night  
\- Felix started laughing  
\- Good night sweetie  
\----  
The next day was a day dedicated to relaxing, Minho, Changbin, and Felix were going to the river Han and have a picnic and play games there.  
After Felix embarrassed himself trying to order some chicken, they feasted what the ordered and after that, it was time to play.  
\- So I brought some Jenga to play, it has dares on each brick so this will be fun, let’s keep it pg remember, the directors don’t want any of that gay shit you do. Let’s all act het, ok?  
After some bricks, it was Felix’s time to take out a brick of the tower, on the brick it said, “a kiss on the cheek”. Felix read it out loud, did he read it right? Like, an actual kiss? No, Minho and Changbin could NOT kiss, Jisung would kill Minho. Would it be ok? To ask Changbin to kiss him? it’s not rushing it right? Would he feel uncomfortable?   
\- Changbin Hyung and....... me - Felix said without really coming up with an answer to those questions.  
Minho started laughing, Felix just did the opposite of what Minho had told him not to do, Felix gave him a smile and an expression telling “I’m sorry, I had to”  
Changbin looked at Felix with a smirk  
\- You know you love me - Felix said  
Felix made Changbin melt right there. One thing was clear, both Felix and Changbin wanted to kiss just as badly.   
\- act hetero - said Minho very subtly making it sounds as if he was coughing.   
After a lot of back and forth, Felix finally got his kiss on the cheek. It was instant but so much went running through Felix's mind. All the moments he stared at Changbin’s lips and wondered how they felt were pressed onto his cheeks, but also all those times Changbin caught him staring and smiled at him, that damn smile that made Felix melt so much, such a heartwarming smile. Changbin’s smile was a miracle for all humans to enjoy though no one really deserved being that blessed. After that small second of curiosity and love, Changbin pushed back and Felix started screaming and running out of happiness.   
Later that day, they both pretended as if nothing happened although the conversations were a bit awkward. After saying good night, Felix couldn’t sleep, it was 3am and they had practice the day after. He decided to text Changbin  
\- You up? - Felix asked, he got an answer right away.  
\- Yeah, can’t sleep…   
\- I feel like we should talk about IT - Felix said, he had to know what went through Changbin’s mind on that topic, he was too curious, he wanted to know what Changbin felt about him.   
\- Well… what do you want me to say? It was just a kiss right, a stupid kiss for the show? - Changbin said  
Felix’s heart dropped to the ground.  
\- Ah, okkey, that’s what I thought too.


	4. The famous letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English isn't my mother language so there might be some mistakes :) please let me know in the comments or dm-in me at @day6sbitch

The day after their talk, Felix and Changbin were a bit distant, Felix felt some kind of tension, so he started spending more time with Woojin. They got very close, to the point where Felix confessed that he liked Changbin, he, of course, did not out Changbin, but he talked a bit of how he feels about him.  
\- I know you are very close and affectionate, so maybe, be a bit less now that it’s awkward between you two, see how he reacts  
\- Uff, I don’t know if I can manage to stay away from him too long… Apart from debuting, he’s basically the only thing I think about…  
\- Just… focus more on the debut, after all, that’s why you’re here for, not to find love right?  
That kind of hurt Felix, of course, he cared about debuting! He left everything for this moment right here!  
\- I know it’s hard to hear it, and I know you’re focusing a lot on the debut  
\- Yeah, Changbin really helped me with a lot…  
\- I mean, you can’t avoid him especially since we’re in a group together, so go to him when you need help, but act as “professional” as you can, and when you need someone to be with, come to us! Come to me, Seungmin and Jeongin, we’ll be here for you and you can maybe focus more on singing since you already are so good at dancing. - He said with a comforting smile.  
\- That’d be great, I really love hanging out with you.  
Felix knew how hard it was going to be, to not have Changbin with him 24/7, but ofc he was willing to try. He couldn’t avoid him, but maybe by being distant, the relationship would change into a more healthy one after some time.  
-  
Felix slowly but surely stopped missing Changbin every day all day, he enjoyed Woojin’s company, and like a good friend that he was, he listened and comforted Felix every time Felix needed it. The relationship between him and Changbin was as “professional” as it could be… except for some times, where in the middle of rehearsal they would start talking. It really did not help the cause but it was Changbin.  
Felix was starting to catch stronger feelings towards him… being away from him really made him think of his feelings towards him were, still, they developed a more casual friendship. This went on for a while until the showcase’s staff told Changbin, Felix, Jeongin, Chan, Minho, and Seungmin that they had to write a letter to a member of their choice for the next episode. Felix was really debating on whether he should write to Woojin thanking him for the support and the love he has received from him, or to… confess to Changbin…  
“Hello Changbin Hyung, I’m writing this letter to you because wanted you to know how good of a teacher, inspiration, and friend you are.  
I’ve always admired you since day one, you give always your 100% when you have to do something, and because of that, it always ends up beautiful and perfect, I thrive and work as much as I can to be half as talented and good at your craft as you are. This letter won’t be too long because my Korean vocabulary isn’t wide enough to express all my feelings, maybe one day I’ll be good enough at Korean and then you’ll get a more developed letter.  
In this letter, I also want to tell you how I feel about you as a person, not as a fellow member of this amazing group, but as Changbin Hyung, and that is that I….*drumroll* love you. There, I said it, and I really hope this doesn’t make our relationship awkward, if you don’t feel the same way as me, I’m fine, don’t worry about it, I’ll gladly have you just as a friend, as long as I get to be with you, I’m happy. but I love you Changbin Hyung, I really do and I hope you feel the same way.  
PS: I hope my Korean is good enough for you to understand, I tried, and since I couldn’t ask anyone for help…”  
Writing this letter right besides Jeongin was very hard, he struggled with his Korean but always insisted that he didn’t need any help during the process, he also drew many hearts and smiles since the other members did the same.  
“I guess it wouldn’t be weird to paint hearts on the letter, though my hearts mean something totally different from theirs” Felix thought  
The day to give the letters came, they all were in a half-circle and started giving their letters away. After hearing the letter Jeongin wrote to Chan, it was Time to Changbin to receive his. Right away after Changbin opened the letter, Felix’s heart started beating like crazy, he was so scared of his response, he could’ve confessed in a much easier way, for a split second he regretted writing it, “I should’ve just written a text message and just not come outside the room until we had chatted it through”. Changbin started smiling and looking at Felix, even though he hadn’t read the letter yet, he knew it wasn’t a normal and casual letter, Jeongin tried to take it from Changbin to see why he was smiling so much, but Changbin quickly took it back before Jeongin could read anything.  
After reading it, Changbin looked at Felix, his smile was so wide and Felix smiled back lowkey hoping Changbin wasn’t smiling because he thought it was stupid or embarrassing. Changbi’s reaction was a very casual one, he couldn’t express his true reaction obviously in front of a camera and all the staff members around him. He then whispered at Felix telling him to meet him after the showcase at the dorms. Felix later tried to act cool laughing awkwardly which made Changbin’s laugh just as awkward, after some stupid laughs from everyone, it was finally over and was time for Seungmin and Minho.


End file.
